Should I Stay or Should I Go ooo

• Are you thinking of moving countries?
• Have you always dreamed of living in New Zealand?
• Do you want to try your luck and give it a chance?

I believe this is a decision where you cannot be well-prepared enough. Below I have tried to gather the questions that I think are worth pondering, discussing with yourself or, if you are not alone, with your partner too. If you come with kids, I think it's worth chewing through some questions with them, and if they are almost adults or teenagers, I highly recommend it.

As I called in my previous post, the whole process of changing countries / restarting yourself is an Emotional Rollercoaster. You can feel entirely clueless, and your self-confidence can hide deep under a rock you can't find anymore. In such cases, it is good to have someone next to you to help and turn on a torch to show: that it is there, just hiding. BUT you can find it, take it out, and re-plant / re-grow and re-develop it.

Losing self-confidence and questioning yourself is expected. I see this the most when moving from another country. 

Since you are at Home, you know blindly what / where to find things and how to do simple and more complex stuff. You know, without even thinking about it. You grew in it / with it. You already know what to do and where to find what you want. After all, this is the knowledge you don't think about while you're in your comfort zone, in your environment, you are at Home. You use it, you could say, like a reflex-like knowledge. You react without thinking.

But you will have no experience here in your New Home. I don't want to discourage or deter anyone. I'd instead urge you to think carefully about your decision. Try to gather as much information as possible, talk to as many people as possible, and read on. However, if you have made a decision, make a decision. And ACT. DO IT! Do not wait for miracles. Involve your people, try to find help, so you do not need to do everything by yourself, and make sure you have a support person, a group of people who can help you all the way: when you arrive and later on.

These are the questions that are worth asking/thinking about it:

Expectation / Change Management:

• What are your expectations and desired outcomes if you decide to move to a foreign country?
• What are you willing to sacrifice for a successful transition?
• Is there a point at which you would deem the move not worth pursuing, and if so, when?
• Do you have a backup plan in case things don't go as expected?
• How do you cope with uncertainty?

Relationship Management:

• How would you feel about the possibility of not seeing your family and friends in person for an extended period?
• What will you do without your usual companions for a post-work beer or a quick chat about your day?

Career Management:

• How important is it to keep the results you have already achieved?
• Are you ready to restart your career, to step back on the career ladder?
• What's the plan for your partner? How and what are they going to work?

Motivation:

• What is your primary motivation for making this move, and what motivates others who will accompany you? Often, the future of one's children is a prevalent motivator.
• What do you specifically hope for your children's future in the new country?
  
  Lastly, a crucial but often overlooked question is this: Are you willing to ask for help when needed, without feeling vulnerable or weak for doing so?

I believe that considering these questions can provide clarity when faced with the central dilemma: "Should I go, or should I stay?" Having answers to these questions can prove invaluable in your decision-making process and benefit you in the long run.

I'm grateful for the strong, trust-based relationship my husband and I share. We've engaged in open, meaningful discussions about these crucial matters and arrived at a shared understanding of our desires. Undoubtedly, challenges arose along the path, but together, we successfully conquered them.

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